Sunday, June 11, 2006

Road Signs

I'm tired of politics. Let's contemplate a little Americana (well, North Americana, since some of this was Canadian). We're planning a driving vacation in July, up the Coast to the Cascades and then Vancouver (B.C.); driving vacations have always been my favorites (gas crisis be damned! apres moi, le deluge...), they being the way we could afford to vacation when I was a child.

One thing I always enjoy, and in fact, collect, are the advertising signs by the side of secondary roads, some hand-lettered. Most of you will have seen ads for "beer pool", but those are common. I have a small collection of rarities to share:

parking cherries (near Sebastopol, California)
diesel cheese (somewhere in Wisconsin, courtesy of my brother-in-law)
coffee minnows (on the road from Toronto to Sudbury, Ontario)
video worms (same road, a very good source)
fountain burrito gizzards (Newberg, Oregon - a deli and butcher...)

The drive to Sudbury was a fruitful source for these signs; I'm still trying to decide which is superior, coffee minnows or video worms. We also found the following which I feel qualifies for Honorable Mention:

Shoe repair and live bait

and a motel which advertised:

Cold Rooms Warm Beer Cozy Food (Oops!)

(Yes, "Oops!" was part of the sign.) How about some that you've seen?


  1. Anonymous8:13 PM

    Slow Men Working has always been one of my favorites.

  2. How could I have missed that one??

  3. Anonymous12:23 PM

    We have a town in Missouri called Yonkerville. For a long time the bar (that was the only building you could see at the crossroads)had a sign that said "Yonkerville- opens noon daily" Always brought a chuckle as a drove by.

  4. I like that, Stephen. I love to drive through small towns and look at them; I just don't want to live in them, valuing my privacy as I do...

    Have you ever been to Springfield? We visited my cousins who live in Kimberling City, and they took us to Springfield to the house of "throwed rolls" - if you want bread, the waiter pitches it across the room to you...

  5. Anonymous10:11 AM

    Yep, go to Springfield all the time, it is about an hour and a half away. Never made it to Lamberts though. Everyone tells me I need to, the food is supposed to be great.

  6. Anonymous9:19 AM

    How 'bout: "Grandpa's Blackmarket Alcohol, tobacco and fireworks." Always struck me as a fun combination.

  7. That's pretty good - do you suppose Grandpa distilled the booze himself?

    I can't really comment on the food at Lambert's - I saw hog jowls on the menu and foolishly decided to see what they were like, and a whole meal of what amounted to lean bacon made me sick. If you have some kind of rational choice from the menu and avoid the hog jowls, it might be good.