Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Conduct Your Triumph As A Funeral

The line is from the Tao Te Ching and the context isn't really relevant here because it refers to war. But it's how I feel.

Last night, as Obama's victory was being proclaimed, I checked my email, and received a blow. A man I've known since high school, probably my first true male friend (as opposed to "boyfriend"), dropped dead of a bilateral pulmonary embolism on Saturday. I've known him over 45 years; and now he's gone. We lost touch somewhat, over the years, as people do; but I knew that I could always pick up the phone and Bill would answer, and we'd pick up the conversation where we left it off. He won't answer any more. Why didn't I call more often? I don't have an answer.

I wish Obama all the best, and he'll need it; but I can't rejoice with him now. I have to mourn.


  1. Oh, how awful. Why must we be so fragile?

    My heart goes out to you and his family.

  2. hedera: I wrote this poem this morning--thinking about other deaths than yours.



    One by one
    The things we love
    Fall away.

    Little to say--
    Except to note
    The inexorable

    Fact of it.
    Memory tugging

    Words meant
    To hold

    What’s dear,
    What was missed.
    Again and again

    We come back
    To it, hands trying
    To hold sand

    Sifting, false hopes
    Twisting in an
    Aimless wind.

  3. Obviously, I meant the death of your friend Bill.